Awake my soul into a dream
A dream of robins’ poetry
Whereon tickly fluff of dandelions rhymes
And in silken crepuscular rays the verses stream
I hear a heartbeat
Dripping warm dewdrops of mead
Into the wind
Into her melodies of angelic sweet
Colin Lee
Bjorn is hosting dVerse’s MTB tonight on the theme of metaphors – with deliberate avoidance of similes and cliches. I tried to write a stanza of free verse (perhaps not quite my forte) and was quite surprised (maybe I shouldn’t be) to find the rhymes creeping into position themselves (A x x A B x x B).
Since the lunch break is all I’ve got today for writing, I’ll also offer this somewhat unfinished poem to Jilly’s Casting Brick September Challenge, where anyone interested can pick up from where I’ve left off. Just click on the link and follow the instructions there. To those of you who would like to add a stanza or two to my piece, please observe Bjorn’s instruction and maintain this poem’s intended juvenile “innocence”, since it was loosely adapted from a verse written (in Chinese) during my teenage years. If needed, do feel free to break the rhyme scheme. Last but not least, please check out what our friends are offering also. Cheers!
Updates – responses posted so far:
- Dandelions’ Rhymes – Charley
- Vernal Flutter – Response – Sarah Connor
- Vernal Flutter Takes Flight – Jilly Lyman
Photo Courtesy: favim.com
The Pescetarian Poet 
Here is my response to your poem… in English! https://lifeinportofino.wordpress.com/2017/09/14/dandelions-rhymes-colincharley/
LikeLike
Interesting – ongoing collaborative poetry. Some nice imagery in this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fun stuff indeed. Thank you!
LikeLike
I love this image of the bird’s song as “dripping warm dewdrops of mead into the wind.” That gives me a synesthetic image where sound is golden and visible and tastes sweet. Dreamy, indeed, Colin!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry for my late reply — spending a weekend with three young children is quite a handful … which makes the dream seems even more remotely dreamy. Oh, those were the days. Anyway, thank you, NSA.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is pretty and (though meant to be free), lyrical. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry for my late reply — spending a weekend with three young children is quite a handful. Thanks, Imelda. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh oh! What fun (and how tiring, too). We have five boys here, so I understand well where you are coming from. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Five boys … and you still have time to write!? What a super-mum. *respect*
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sometimes I get lucky that an idea comes while the children are busy and I do not have to think about what they are up to. But most of the time, even a minute of thought is a luxury.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Having already read your poem in Charley’s post I came prepared. Love the emotions the sweet part of being nervous. I hope you could do something good with your butterflies
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry for my late reply — spending a weekend with three young children is quite a handful, speaking of what the butterflies ultimately turned into. 😀 Thanks, Bjorn!
LikeLike
I love the metaphors for birdsong, playing with our senses. It’s so true.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry for my late reply, Sarah. Spending a weekend with three young children is quite a handful. Heading your way soon. Thanks!
LikeLike
Having rad Charley’s response before reading your challenge hasn’t spoilt it for me. I enjoyed your half poem and if I wasn’t under pressure today I would love to take on the challenge.I love the ‘Whereon tickly fluff of dandelions rhymes’.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry for my late reply — spending a weekend with three young children is quite a handful. Long gone are the dandelions! Great to reminisce about that dreamlike sweetness nevertheless. Thanks for reading, Kim. By the way, the tandem linky won’t expire any time soon. Just drop by at Jilly’s when you’re freer. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like how tangible, and yes, tickly and tasty poetry can be when one asks for the soul to awaken.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry for my late reply — spending a weekend with three young children is quite a handful.
What’s real and what’s illusion? To a world of tangibles that are nevertheless seemingly meaningless, the dreaminess of love, of poetry, somehow delivers us into a new tangible that we actually live for (or which that makes the mundane somewhat more liveable). Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Amaya.
LikeLike
I come to this having already read it as a mirror to Charley’s penned poem and it is fascinating seeing it alone, waiting for the space it has offered to become filled. Here it will always be just the one wing of the butterfly, beautiful but incomplete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry for my late reply — spending a weekend with three young children is quite a handful. Thank you for visiting this one-winged butterfly. Lol By the way Sarah Southwest had a go at this as well. Do check it out too. 😉
LikeLike
Nice description of dandelions with “tickly fluff”. The sounds robins make may be poetry for them for all I know. We can enjoy it as well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for reading, Frank, and sorry for my late reply — spending a weekend with three young children is quite a handful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a lovely half poem. I leave the collaboration to others more talented than I!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Ms Bev. But … both your talent and experience are unmatchably great!
LikeLike
https://fmmewritespoems.wordpress.com/2017/09/16/vernal-flutter-response/
I thought you might like to know that I did the challenge over at Jilly’s place.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much!
LikeLike
After reading Charley’s half, I clicked right on over here to tell you what a beautiful voice you have.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! That’s jolly kind of you to say so. *blushing*
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah the flutters of spring….the dreams that bring poetry like the wisps of the dandelion blown into the breeze. This is a beautiful write! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Lillian. In a hectic and stifling season when I can use a bit of reminiscence of those sweet, youthful days of spring. If only we could bring them back …
LikeLike
Your poetry is a taste of enlightenment and soothing for the soul. Beautifully well written and my favorite poem of Monday. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s most appreciated, Charlie, from one as exceptional as yourself. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You welcome, Colin.
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
https://jillys2016.wordpress.com/2017/09/24/vernal-flutter-takes-flight/
Thank you for this beautiful challenge poem, Colin. It was a delight to complete!
LikeLike