Destiny

All this while
I thought she’d be waiting
At the end of the line,
Unaware
That she was right there,
In a sporty summer dress,
Two panes of glass away,
Heading towards my past.

 

Colin Lee

colin-lee-small

Is destiny a destination? Or is it a dream passing by … so close and yet so far?

Photo Courtesy: brandhk.gov.hk

 

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15 thoughts on “Destiny

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  1. love your thoughts Colin! I get thought like these too when travelling by train or airplane, when I am forced to sit still and allow life to run past me. Your poem has many nuances. It could represent choices, longing or simply just a phase of life. you asked about destiny. I am divided on this. I often wonder why certain things happen to me and about the people who come into may life. Was it merely timing? Or are there other powers that govern our lives? I have this theory that our lives are threads and these threads criss cross other lives and we stain each other with our colour. So the destiny bit its when the threads slack and touch each other. But working towards destiny seems like we are engineering it somehow and choosing our paths. Destiny should be accidental adventures. My thoughts anyway. This piece is yet another colour from your talent palette. i really like it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m thrilled to read your comment, Gina. It’s amazing how you read into and between my lines. When I scribbled them on Monday morning, I intended their extra room for interpretation, in the hopes of teasing out undeliberate and honest evocation like this. And such beautiful pondering – the colourful fabric of human experience being interwoven by individual threads that perpetually exchange virtues and ideas with each other.

      At times when I lose myself in thoughts, like that moment aboard the train, it feels like my conscious has thrown itself into a time warp, where the musings of the past and the future are jumbled together in the present, disoriented in the causality between motive and intent. Although within my instinct I aspire to control my destiny and accordingly dictate my commitments and choices, when I get carried away by this unstoppable one-way train, destiny somehow seems to be shifting, changing, transient like a passing visage on the opposite line, running away, as if re-manifesting herself as a ghost, or a muse, in my past, perhaps due to my psychological biases of projection and hindsight … who knows? Then, suddenly, I hear myself asking mad questions like … Where am I? Where am I going? Why am I going where I’m going?

      It seems easier to apply some philosophical textbook answers on life’s big picture, especially when one has taken some steps of faith, but somehow it feels more difficult to come down to the nuts and bolts of every day … like for some groggy Monday commuter trying to retrieve his bearings aboard a train, rather than tracing some lines on a system map.

      Again, very grateful for your input and reading, Gina. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. was my pleasure and your prose is as beautiful as your poetry, you should always include narratives like these. gives such depth and background to how a thought process began. I know close to zero about philosophy but know that when we seek for answers the universe delivers ways we can discern, if we lose our inhibitions and do as you did go on that one way train with all the thoughts like a solenoid in the electromagnetic generator, spirals carrying thoughts as time oscillates.

        its a sublime pleasure to read your inspirations Colin!

        have a lovely week ahead!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. maybe because I work in medical physics? Physics is my everyday life, the modulations, isodose curves and electron beam profiles, all sounds so exotic and erotic don’t you agree. (smiles). I believe physicists see the world on a very temporal level resulting in some very amazing poetry.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Oh, my word. I didn’t know! Are you a radiologist? Now I feel I’m closer to you by miles, Gina. I started off as a business major in uni, but was hooked by the mathematical harmony in acoustic science because of my interest in music. Nevertheless, I’m doing neither science nor music for living, and academia seems a parallel universe away.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I started as a Radiation Therapist then moved on to Dosimetry in cancer treatment. So my work invloves a lot of medical physics and dose calculations and running tests on equipment like CT Scanners and Linear Accelerators, . It’s a challenging field but I am fortunate to get to see the human as well as hard science of treatment. You have chosen such an interesting path in life Colin, I was expecting you to be more of an English major from your command of the language and expressive writing. Mathemathics exist in everything we do, hence the poetic forms have always attracted that part of me that likes order and prediction. What do you dabble in these days then? I feel a kinship after reading your affinity to music and mathemathical harmony. So lovely to know the heart that beats beneath the written word.

        Liked by 2 people

      5. Fascinating, Gina. I’d never imagined you’re this awesome — a rescuer of lives armed with mathematical savvy and big guns of the hospital! Thank you for your compliment; I’m utterly flattered. Born and raised in a Cantonese-speaking family, educated exclusively in the sciences throughout high school and uni, I learned only basic ESL grammar and didn’t read a single English poem until I was 29. I suppose, having married a native speaker (British) did stretch the learning curve a bit. I hope I’ve done my language teachers proud. I, in turn, am quite humbled by my old man’s learning. Dad picked up English only when he started his own business around the age of 50. These days, he’s emailing and communicating (and negotiating) with customers, suppliers, employees and partners all over the world on a daily basis. I must thank his good genes.

        Besides the piano, I used to participate in the theatre and a choir; but most of my hobbies are benched now with three kids and more responsibilities at work. How about you? Do you play any instrument? I believe this newfound kinship is very much mutual, my friend! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      6. oh not even close to awesome but I love what I do, and hope I have touched some lives as they have mine. there are days I am drained from compassion fatigue but always rejuvenated on seeing the hope that these brave souls hold on tight to.

        your dad’s work ethics (not only his genes) must have rubbed off on you and you have certainly done well. mastering the language in such a short span of time is admirable and enviable even. and when you were well into adulthood! not an easy feat at all, so proud of your achievements!

        I too learnt English as a second language and still struggle to express myself!

        I do love music but don’t play any instrument, I grew up in a tiny village and never had the opportunity to learn. My kids are musicians though and they play in a band.

        you surprise me yet again with your musical talent, I hope you will pick it up again once the kids are older and you can participate in the theatre again, that is a dream come true for so many people!

        enjoying getting to know more about you, you are a most fascinating person Colin!

        Liked by 1 person

      7. What a beautiful soul you are, Gina. The encouragement and kindness you radiate is more powerful than any particle accelerator on earth.

        Second language? In Malaysia, I believe it’s common for a seventh or eighth language! (You guys rock.)

        Indeed I thank goodness for knowing you — an exemplar to show me how much I must learn, as a poet as much as a human. Thank you.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. I enjoyed the poem as much as your and GIna’s conversation. Sorry for intruding. 🙂 And sorry, too, for not being able to leave any other comment about the poem. Thinking and I do not go well together these days. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

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