The Keyboard With an Accent

Iz w\avsz quitez excitedz
Withz mbyz ngewz combputer,.
\Angdz couldng’tz w\aitz
Toz vst\artz writingz withz it,.
Onglyz toz fingdz,.z howevser,.
Thez keymbo\ard
H\avsz \az l\angngu\ange
Ofz itvsz owng,.
Engingmb\a!

 

Colin Lee

colin-lee-small

My cheap Lenovo, which has an arthritic hard drive and a chronic “sleeping” problem, is giving out this week, quite impressively, after four years of clerical usage. I bought me a Fujitsu yesterday, but the Japanese machine somehow got an accent that seemed far more German than Asian. Before the Enigma coder is brought back to the shop for replacement, I nevertheless cannot suppress the urge to leave a mark with it. Anyway, good luck to those of you reading this from Bletchley Park!

p.s. To my tea lady back home: Iz lovsezy ouz,. hongey!

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19 thoughts on “The Keyboard With an Accent

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    1. Clever are you, who could read it, not the silly machine. Well, after all, high readability is the virtue of most phonemic writing systems, isn’t it? So much so the Middle Eastern languages can even do away with vowels. And as an ESL individual … I’m awlyas aezamd by tehse sntrgae apstces of yuor lgugnauae! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ezxactfly! In actuality, the Western languages are ‘seen’ more than ‘read’, which is why I can read your crazy peom. Our eyes learn to see a word based on the shape of it, which means we have eye to brain function that is rather Chinese. Huh!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I am amazing … ly (un)lucky, considering Fujitsu practises 6-sigma in their business and that I happen to be, in theory, within that 0.0003% of exception. Winning a lottery should have been easier. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Don’t worry about that Charley. 6-sigma, ISO9001 and Lean Manufacturing are simply past rebranding of unoriginal management concepts that merely create job opportunities to administrate the administrations of businesses and the bureaucracy of the consulting industry’s vested interests. Black belt this and black belt that … stacking up paperwork like karate planks — just for show and not for use. Gone is the spirit of actual TQM as ascribed by Dr Deming and Dr Juran. At the end of the day, the pretence and jargons can all boil down to one basic principle: “Thou shalt do your job and check what you’re doing.” That’s all. Nothing fancy.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Haha! Now write that as a poem! It truly sounds as if (our) educational system, the floundering governments of the world, and business in general are all fishing for ideas from the same fetid swamp, catching the same parasite-ridden bottom feeders, slicing a small filet of diseased meat from the beast, and casting the rest back into the pond for the next fishing expedition.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Exactly! Spot on, my friend. Same application everywhere — religious movements, cultural renaissances… The cycle of returning to the roots, breakthroughs, going through the motion, complacency … Back fishing for change again!

        Liked by 1 person

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